Days back when I was still dealing in old clothes at downtown at Owino Market, there was this beautiful lugbara babe who tempted me but I was cut short by her rudeness towards people of the opposite sex. This lady could abuse you upon approaching her but I had this in mind if it means going to Jjuju to win her on my side i would. But I remembered the old proverb we used to say when I was still in the village in Mityana “Emesse nebwegeja etya, ya kappa” which literally means however much the Rat grows big, it ends up being eaten by a cat.

So I got back to my old script, I went through mama junior who was her best friend, she told her my manifesto in capital letters until she accepted to meet the guy she was being told about. Guess what the meeting place was some bonking pad in Kamwokya, it’s where she found me and what happened is the real reason I was created a man. I left directions at the reception that once she reaches, she should be directed to room 16.

You know however much a leopard is so rude, it calms down and gets impregnanted without fear or favor but with flavor. As I was still replying to my Whatsapp messages, I had a knock on the door, upon saying please enter, nga indeed it’s Racheal I had been waiting for the last One hour. I welcomed her with a big hug which lasted for close to 3 minutes as I was whispering in her ears that am lucky to have her on my side.

She got down for Business as usual and we started kissing and snogging, as I pulled out the hard cassava which had been poking inside the porch, I had wanted to eat her live until she told me in her broken Luganda mbu sebbo akapila aliwa, and I easily understood she was demanding for the anti-virus which was just down under the pillow, we got it and she offered to roll it herself, I felt like jumping out of my skin because of the audacity.

I chopped her mercilessly and she started mourning in Lugbara as she was praising the size of my cassava, and you know what boosts a man’s performance between the sheets are those songs of praise and worship for your mister as you also praise her water logged punani. Man the lady started splashing and I was also driven so fast to knock the bull’s eye and indeed the magma came out so fast and she hurriedly welcomed me back from Arua.

The second round started immediately after we had a shower together, this time round she started wobbling so quickly and indeed it was due, with the third and fourth round she reminded me she was staying at her auntie’s home who was too hard to convince. So she said she could go home early to avoid the mess of sending her back to Koboko. I pulled out a 50k note and handed it to her as transport back to Kajjansi and she promised we could be meeting in the market some other time and I counted myself a winner after eating her sumbi. I remain yours and forever Uncle SEKI